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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

You might be a tablescaper if...



This is a list I have composed after many discussions with my mom, discovering characteristics we share as fellow tablescapers. I hope you enjoy!


1. You sometimes lust after that one special purchase. You maybe even pay a bit too much. And when you get home, you don't regret it AT ALL. Not once. Not ever. Your heart still beats faster when you get to use it!


2. You have learned to misspell items you are looking for on eBay because you realize people selling make typos just like everyone else. Likewise, you know people commonly misidentify things. You search the wrong terms, too - just in case.


3. You have emailed a complete stranger who has posted information about an item they can't identify or that they have misidentified. And you correctly identified it for them. So you let them know what they have, whether or not they seem to care!


4.  When trying to decide how to set the table, you have to go from room to room to find everything you need. Maybe even upstairs or into the basement. Or out back, perhaps? More than once. This endeavor often involves a ladder.


5. Moving around your table pretties is an aerobic workout. And it lasts more than 20 minutes at least 3 times a week. You also get your weight-lifting and calisthenics. "Bend and stretch and bend and stretch..."


6. When you absolutely have no more room for even one more plate, goblet, or salad fork, you have a Ripley's-Believe-It-Or-Not-talent for rearranging everything and miraculously finding more room for an entire set of china, crystal, or silver!


7.  No store, garage sale, or boutique is too above or beneath you when if comes to looking for table pretties.


8.  You have often found that one bargain item you need to finish the perfect table, only to decide later it would really go great with these goblets you just saw, or those plates you remember, and maybe the linens you found online last week, etc. After you have purchased this new list of items, you insist the original bargain was, in fact, a bargain. I mean, look at everything you have that goes with it...


9.  You have at least a few books around the house or websites marked used for identification.


10. You have a wish list of patterns or pieces you can rattle off to anyone who will listen. And there is a good explanation for every single thing you want. Which you can also explain in great detail. And you have at least one good friend who is just as interested in your list as you are. And that good friend looks for you and you look for her. Because she has a list, too!


11. You are gradually pulling your non-tablescaping family members and somewhat disinterested friends into your obsession. Those among them who once thought you were, um, eccentric now call you if they are out and see something that might tickle your fancy. They might even email or text message you a picture. They don't know what they are looking at, but you will. They bring it home for you and are happy to be a part of this mysterious life you lead! And you reward them with sincere and generous praise for their good eye for special things!


12.  Do you have a spreadsheet or a book where you keep a list of everything you have? Do you have pictures attached? How about plate measurements? I think you do, and if you don't, you should!


13.  You identify patterns in things like movies and cookbooks. Even in movie commercials. For instance, if you watched the old Billy Crystal and Danny Devito film, "Throw Momma from the Train," you would instantly note the pattern on Momma's teacup. (It's a common one.) I saw a Marmaduke commercial today with the briefest corner of a plate showing in two scenes. Again, though, it was an easy call. Two points for me today. How about you? 


14. You have a love/hate relationship with replacement sites. For so many reasons. You actually have a very detailed list of pros and cons. And can site many very specific examples. 


15.  You have never used every item you have. And you might not ever accomplish that. Because you are still collecting. You won't ever catch up. I have the same problem, (is it actually a problem?), with books. I buy more than I can read immediately. And by the time I have read them all, I have another pile of those I can't get to right now. Such is the world of tablescaping, too!


16. If you have a blog, you know that silver and flatware in general are hard to photograph. You may not get a good picture of the detail. You might get a good picture of yourself.


17. You have found items you actually own on other people's blogs. Many, many times.


18.  You buy new storage, (armoires, china cabinets, etc.), long after you need them. And you know when you begin to rearrange, your new storage will be full immediately. And that's without buying anything new to put inside. But at least things won't be perched as precariously everywhere else for a while.


19.  You have gotten rid of (many) perfectly good items, such as pots, pans, clothes, bed linens, etc. to make room.  Is that a stash of plates in your wardrobe? Or a silver chest among the sheets in the linen closet? Bread plates in the utensil drawer?


20.  And...you would never, ever save "the good stuff" for special occasions!


Have a fantabletastic day!


-Andrea

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21 comments:

  1. Andrea..this is hilarious..I LOVE it!!!! I can identify with every single one...LOL oh lordy this is funny....there are more out there like me and I AM NOT THE ONLY CRAZY DISH WOMAN...only bought 32 pieces of one china pattern and 6 goblets and 3 bowls this week..but I really, really needed them..LOL

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  2. Hi Andrea...

    Ohh my goodness...you "hit the nail on the head" with this, my friend! I just know that you were talking about ME! Hehe! What fun...sure did have a blast reading this post...thanks!

    Just wanted to let you know that I also read your Cinco de Mayo post as well! What a gorgeous table, my friend! I love your place settings and they are sooo perfect for this festive occasion! Great menu and recipes too! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful table with us!

    Warmest spring wishes,
    Chari @Happy To Design

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  3. OMG! Numer 11 was the best. Do you realize there are "football fields" of storage underneath a king size bed! I'm keeping this one in a word file so I can refer back to it often and send it along to other "dishies". Great job.

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  4. Great post. This is me! I need to show this to my friends.

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  5. Oh, I am seeing too much of myself in this! Very fun post. Thanks for linking it up!
    Sherry

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  6. This is way too funny! My friends and I have joked that we need dish-a-holics annonymous. Hello, it's been one week since I bought a dish. LOL!

    - The Tablescaper

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  7. There more I could put in this list, but since hubbies might read it, I can't very well describe efforts to minimize how much enters the house at a time, etc. :) And in my case it makes no sense because I spend my own hard-earned money on everything, but I do fear horribly when the boxes are sitting on the doorstep for all to see when I get home. It just seems so much worse than it is because of all of the packing materials.:)

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  8. I'm planning a crystal closet.. okay i understand your list.. I live your list. I just moved my sweaters to make room for another set of crystal. LOL.. Happy collecting and thanks for the laugh today..

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  9. Oh good heavens, there are too many there that fit me to a T!

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  10. H I L A R I O U S!!!!!!!

    This is so funny! I think I might perhaps. . . possibly. . . maybe. . . becoming a tablescaper. There. . . I said it!!!! The first step is admitting it. . . right??

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  11. What a riot!!! I have to say, by your definition, I'm guilty!!! This is fabulous and way too true!!!

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  12. I keep saying we should have a self help group. I am so obsessed with dishes and tables. I should find a job doing this.
    Visit my blog for a table setting for Marie Antoinette and her dressmaker. A fun bit of fantasy. Love that the 3 of you do this together
    Marie arden Pink Living

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  13. Oh My....I am laughing so hard...as I sit her....going ...."yup" to each number...thanks!

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  14. Oh my. This is too funny and oh so true! I'm going to print this off so I can show others that I am not the only one who thinks like this.

    Oh, and when I first opened your page and saw the china inventory, I was very excited...thinking to myself, oh goodie, this is something I really need to do. Maybe this will include a tutorial on how to create this list... Oh, yes, I have tablescaper-itis.

    Thanks for sharing such a comprehensive list of symptoms. It is right on!
    Tammy

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  15. @Tammy: You asked and received! :)
    http://tablescapex3.blogspot.com/2011/05/how-to-make-spreadsheet-for-your.html
    -Andrea

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  16. I can tell you The Tablescaper has fallen off the wagon. She emailed me last night with pics of all the new dishes she bought yesterday! :)

    Very funny, and so true! I don't think I could make a spread sheet! I don't have Word.
    I take pics of everything I buy so I can remember what I bought. But I don't always remember where I put it! :)

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  17. I think we all have those days! Somehow, I never feel guilty, though! I hope she enjoys all her finds! Thanks for stopping by and being a fellow enabler! Lol! :)
    Andrea

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  18. I am sooooo busted! This is a great post, and I'm glad it was linked elsewhere today so I could read it. Now I'm going to share it with a few "partners in crime..." :-)

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  19. Love your humor, this fits so many of us. Every shelf is full but I'll keep rearranging to make more room. Thanks.

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