Second Generation

Unlike my mother, I had the good fortune to attend DAR luncheons and ladies' teas from an early age. I was allowed to play in the kitchen. Judging from the above picture, I was interested in china and silver very early on! My mom let me pull out the good stuff and enjoy it! Antique shows featured prominently even in my childhood. I have so many collections I could not possibly list them all. Loving old things and having a passion for history, my mother eventually delved into genealogy, sharing with me her findings. While it was exciting to rediscover all of our ancestors who first came to the United States in the 17th and 18th centuries, I regret that the generations in the middle so carelessly lost family traditions and heirlooms. (There are some rather scandalous stories in our family about how things disappeared through the years, and while painful, they are quite entertaining!)

Emma visiting STT in 2008

I should also mention that attending boarding school at St. Timothy's School in Maryland played a reinforcing role in my love of tradition. Please note, my parents reluctantly sent me off at my own request, God bless them. While I have had a life full of amazing adventures all over the world, life at St. Timothy's has been the second most fantastic experience of my life. (Becoming a mother is still in first place.) The student experience there is rich with traditions and relationship-building aside from the stellar academics, arts, and athletics. Regardless of the commitment to daily activities, there was always a very definite pause to come together and dine as a family. In the dining hall, the ceilings were at least 20' tall, round tables where students and teachers sat together, and students had rotating duties of bringing the food out to serve. There we sat, hair thrown up haphazardly in uniforms that were often wrinkled, and dined. No lunch trays could be found. No plastic or melamine of any kind. Seating rotated throughout the year. Teachers, students, dorm parents, their children, random visitors, other staff all thrown together to break bread. International, multilingual, multiethnic. What a blessing that was to me, much more than I realized at the time. I am still in touch with every member of our senior class and with many, many more alumnae from fifty years ago until the present. When I go back to the school now as an on-again, off-again board member and random visitor, I love to attend lunch and sit with the girls and dine. (And there are more dining stories you'll hear later, such as the famous crêpes made by our headmaster and his wife at their house on campus when they would host us all for breakfast!)

The Palm Beach Story

In that most of our family heirlooms, (dishes and sterling included), disappeared in my grandmother's generation or even before, I began a very deliberate process of collecting things in high school to enjoy in adulthood and to pass down. (This includes collecting experiences, such as traveling.) Stephanie, my life-long best friend and former St. Tim's roommate, and I exchanged Holiday Lenox china in high school at birthdays and Christmas. Even as boarding school gals and poor college students, she in Massachusetts and I in Georgia, we each had a stash in our dorm rooms of china and crystal to use for Ramen Noodles and Diet Cokes. I remember visiting her at Boston College our junior year, having tea and scones, watching "The Palm Beach Story" among the typical clothing and textbook chaos.  We also scraped together all of our cash and had a late-night dessert at the Ritz. It was by far the most expensive and most tasty sorbet I had ever had until I moved to France later that year. (There is a little restaurant in Paris called the Procope, perhaps the oldest restaurant in Paris, that beat the Ritz in price and in taste.)

Churchill China Chelsea Blue Willow 45-Piece 
Dinnerware Set, Service for 8
Gorham LADY ANNE SIGNATURE DOF
Search Amazon.com for reed and barton flatware

No matter what your condition or mood, or how many fast food meals a lack of time necessitates, taking the time to truly dine is a small luxury that I refuse to do without. For my family and me, that can simply mean sitting at the kitchen table with our lovely Blue Willow china, Lady Anne crystal tumblers, and Reed and Barton stainless eating hamburgers, baked beans, and chips with a side of fruit. (I wash my Lady Anne crystal in the dishwasher. Clean-up is NOT labor intensive for every day.) There is always a familiar glass ramekin filled with fruit or yogurt or peanut butter for things such as apples or pretzels. Things match. There is an organization to the dining process. No paper plates. No disposable cups. We set the table together. We clear the dishes together. We talk. By honoring yourself and others by dining with a deliberately laid table and a careful menu, you are able to reconnect with others in a way that can't be duplicated. You are expressing how special they are to you, and when alone, how special you are to yourself.